Sleep

I get asked about sleep a lot by clients so here are 12 things that most professionals agree help with sleep

1. Active, healthy exercise and improved physical output can really help your body rest well at night, also mental activity is important too so that your brain is ready to rest rather than full of energy and thoughts. Try not to exercise too close to bedtime.

2. Watch what you eat and drink, healthy food and drink are important. Caffeine too close to bedtime can really impact sleep quality, and many people find the cut off point for caffeine consumption varies per person. Also spicy food late at night can contribute to bad sleep. Avoid alcohol, it is a stimulant and a depressant, it doesn’t help you sleep it has the opposite effect. Also smoking is stimulant so a fag before be is not recommended.

3. Make your bedroom a sleep-friendly environment, soft bedding, black out curtains, natural light alarm clock, ear plugs, well maintained bed, bedding and mattress, not too hot or cold where possible.  

4. Relax and unwind before bed, don’t go from a stimulant activity straight to bed as it will only cause you to feel more awake.

5. Resist the weekend lie-ins as they really make no difference other than to mess with your bodies natural rhythm, catching up on sleep is not a thing, good sleep over several nights will provide a better result and avoid that sleep hangover feeling you get after a lie in, also a lie in will just reduce your feeling of needing to sleep that night. Setting a wake up hour is useful eg 7am to 8am.

6. A good bedtime ritual or routine can be really important. Things such as having a set bedtime eg between 10pm and 11pm. Don’t wash your face or get changed right before bed, these will wake you up so try to get ready then do something relaxing, if you like a nice warm bath try this an hour before sleep. Try not to do energetic exercise or have enthusiastic or heated conversations. Avoid over stimulating behaviours like thriller films. Try relaxing activities like books, crosswords, mindfulness, relaxing music, audio books.

7. Don’t stay in bed and think about not being able to sleep, get up and do something. Try to make this something neutral and calming, so not exercise or something that will energise you.

8. Monitoring your sleep can sometimes help, this can be done easily with most smart watches. You may find certain patterns such as you always wake at dawn so light is waking you, or at 6am when the neighbour gets up, or you sleep better/worse after a particular activity

9. Keep a notebook by your bed and note down thoughts that are in your mind so you can look at them tomorrow

10. Speak to a professional, a doctor or therapist could help you better understand your sleep issues, some therapies like CBT and hypnotherapy are helpful with sleep and person centred talking therapies are helpful for those who are struggling to sleep due to stress.

11 Your bed is for sleep (and sex), try not to associate it with other stressful things like work.

12 Be aware of your circadian rhythm. These are your bodies natural sleep and energy patterns and can differ between people.

Image by macrovector on Freepik

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

LRP Therapy?

So this month I would like to talk about LRP, or for those of you who are not yet invested Live Action Roleplay. This is a hobby that I started way back in my distant past when I was training to be a teacher (I’ve been a LRPer longer than a therapist!). Sometimes described as Dungeons and Dragons but acted out in a field or castle rather than with dice. The idea is that you create a character, sometimes similar to yourself, sometimes drastically different and follow their path, make choices they would make rather than those you would make and have the chance to explore the world around you in another way. My group is Curious Pastimes, others include Empire, do please follow the links and have a look if you are interested.

So why am I talking about this on a therapy blog? Well there is a growing number of therapists and researchers that are looking into how this type of emersion can be used as therapy, how beneficial people can find looking at other aspects of their character and trying out a behaviour where it is mostly risk free, there are a number of therapist who already subscribe to the theory of play therapy being really productive for inner child work and relaxation. This is a possible method of engaging in this behaviour. I personally think it can work to some extent on anger issues as well and become a great form of stress relief. It is a way to socialise in a community that already has something in common and is very diverse and accepting (it tends to be hard to be sexist and racist when you are talking to a genderless ogre/troll/owlbear/werewolf). Not to mention it’s a great workout.

For example my character started out as a healer (some of you may know I like to help people), but she developed into a leader, a diplomat, a lawyer, a wife, and a rather adept shield maiden, she speaks up for herself and others, she uses violence (yes accepted and safe within the system), she is also perfectly capable of falling in love, grieving and laughing as this character, then I have to return to reality. But it gives me the opportunity to experience these things, to take risks, to try behaviours that in real life may have more risk attached than just the call of Time Out on a Sunday night. It is also a wonderful way to relax and play like I used to as a child, free from responsibility and worry about the world around me.

Please do look into either table top roleplay or live roleplay if this feels like something that may benefit you.

Photo by Steve Mitchell  This is Myself and one of my best and life long friends who’s character here is Aursa.

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

What is an EAP?

I’m sure you’ve heard someone use the term EAP, most likely in your workplace or one of your friends who is talking about getting mental health support. EAP means Employee Assistance Program. These are usually external agencies paid for by your company who offer mental health support, guidance and advice amongst other thing. Some such as BUPA and AXA offer physical health cover as well. Some companies, such as some NHS trusts, offer in house EAP and therapy support.

“How have I not heard of this?” I hear you ask. Well most companies mention it in your introduction pack or on your starting week, and if you are anything like myself and a lot of other people you may have been too busy being anxious, remembering your sign in codes, trying to find the toilets, remembering everyone’s name and about 100 other important things about starting a new job, and as normal not being in need of mental health support at the time our brains will tend to file the information away and forget about it.

So if you are looking for counselling and mental health support, looking for support with a recent diagnosis, needing to explore a workplace issue, grieving, or any number of other things you might want to consider your EAP as a route to support. This means you can usual bypass the trip to the GP and the long NHS waiting list. Although sometimes the EAP might suggest contact with a GP if they feel antidepressants may be helpful in your particular case.

Most EAP companies will do an initial assessment with you resulting in a one off therapy support session or you being offer short term solution focused therapy of about 6 to 8 weeks, they also often offer mental health apps to download, and offer a 24 hours support line if needed.

A full list of EAPS and some of the help they can offer is available here https://www.eapa.org.uk/find-an-eap-provider/

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

Neurodiversity.

This month I would like to talk briefly about a conference I recently attended on the topic of neurodiversity. For those who are unsure of the term it refers to those of us who have different mental processing skills to the accepted average or neuro-typical. Examples of neurodiversity are Autism, ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), dyspraxia, dyslexia, and dyscalculia.

I want to share the website https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/ that was shared with us on the day, I found it full of useful resources https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/resources/ which are presented in various accessible ways. It is the

Additionally I’d just like to leave you with some facts shared that day for you to muse over. It is estimated that:
1 in 10 people could have dyslexia
1 in 20 people could have ADHD
1 in 67 people could have Autism
1 in 20 people could have dyscalculia
1 in 10 people could have dyspraxia

Up to 80% of those with a neuro-diverse trait report having experiences of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, OCD, eating disorders or self-medicating.

And while there are various causes for these conditions (including possibility of hereditary, birth trauma, brain injury, adverse childhood experiences and neurotransmitter deficiencies) it is important to remember that recognition and diagnosis isn’t always straight forward as it could be. If you think that you exhibit neurodiversity traits please do go to your GP to start the assessment process.

If you have a neurodiversity and you have your own unique way of looking at the world, I hope you can try to focus on how amazingly you can apply that as opposed to how different or isolated it may make you feel.

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

Mental Health in the Media

I thought this month I would share an article from my area’s local newspaper in which a local celebrity talks about their mental health and lack of access to NHS mental health services. Unfortunately this is an all too common story that is heard across the country, supply does not seem to be able to meet demand. In the article Eddie Hall raises awareness of the suicide risk for men, as well as the impact drink and drugs can have on mental health.

https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/eddie-hall-slams-long-nhs-8020126

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

Valentines?

I just thought I would take a moment to discuss the middle of the month, and possibly the day February is most famous for Valentines Day. Now I am sure you have heard many variations of why Valentines day is named as it is and despite origins it is now the day widely synonymous with romantic love.

If you have someone to send a valentine card to, take out to a meal or express your deep affection for I wish you the best day. If you are one of the many who find this holiday difficult or challenging maybe a few of these ideas may help.

Firstly if you struggle to express emotion or understand your partners way of expressing emotion have you explored your love language? Here is a brief article on the 5 types of love language : verbal, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gifts.

Not all love has to be big, expensive gestures, a beautiful pebble or handmade card can mean just as much. Cleaning the house, making dinner, carpet picnics, going to a walk together can al be just as rewarding as diamonds, chocolates and dinner.

If you are single consider expressing or celebrating another type of love to a person in your life, tell your best friend how much you love them, let your parents or children know how much they mean to you, offer love to a stranger by volunteering or handing out chocolates at work (remember these are just my spur of the moment ideas, you may wish to add your own spin).

And more still, remember love is expressive 365 days a year, not just today, sending your love on November 12th is just as important as it is on February 14th.

image Hernan Pauccara

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

The Emotion Wheel

The Emotion Wheel, sometimes called The Feelings Wheel is a technique used to help people be better able to express the complex emotions they may be feeling. The images in the blog are taken from https://humansystems.co/emotionwheels/

The idea is a very simple one, if people are struggling to describe or understand their own emotions often a therapist will use a wheel to help the client explore their emotion in more detail. For example if a client says they feel angry because someone made a joke that used them as the punchline. You could use the word wheel, and your own understanding of emotions to maybe follow that emotion to level 2 and find the word humiliated, that may then be level 3 disrespected. The idea is to help more fully understand their reaction and thus explore the client’s response and way they process the emotion.

Here are 3 examples, the main emotion wheel, then two more specific ones for comfortable and uncomfortable emotions, because knowing a feeling doesn’t just have to be focused on a negative emotion, and finding more positive ways to feel is also part of therapy.

I hope these help, feel free to make use of them yourselves.

https://humansystems.co/emotionwheels/
https://humansystems.co/emotionwheels/
https://humansystems.co/emotionwheels/

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

Crisis?

Just a brief one from me for December which is to remind you that every day is what you make of it and what you want it to be. If you celebrate Yule, Christmas, Diwali, Hanukah, or the New Year then I wish you a most enjoyable festival of light in the winter darkness and the turning of a new year. Equally if you do not wish to celebrate, or if this time of year is tough for you remember that is up to you how you choose to feel and approach the time of year. If you wish to do charity work to keep busy, spend time not money with loved ones, go travelling or just act like it is a normal day then I am here to say that is the best and right decision for you and no one should be able to take that from you. It’s not selfish, its self-care, just remember to be sure your choice isn’t damaging or dangerous for another.

Also if you are struggling as this time of year is tough here are a few key numbers that may help you out:

If you are struggling at this time of year and if I am closed or it is the holidays here are some numbers and websites that may help:

Samaritans – 116123   https://www.samaritans.org/

Accesss Team – 03001230907

Childline – 0800 1111 childline.org.uk

Staffordshire Mental Health Helpline –  0808 800 2234 

Staffordshire rough sleepers team – 0300 500 0914

Stoke-on-Trent rough sleepers – 01782 406000, 0800 970 2304

Food Bank information – Staffordshire: https://www.staffordbc.gov.uk/local-food-banks-information-and-opening-times  Stoke-on-Trent: https://stokeontrent.foodbank.org.uk/

Loneliness – https://www.u3a.org.uk/

And remember if in doubt call 999 for immediate support

Grief

I wanted to use this month’s blog to chat about grief. It is the festive time of year soon and many of us will be spending this season without a loved one who was there last year. Sometimes people find this time very hard emotionally and having not experienced grief before may not know what to expect, feel or do for the best. Well I am here to let you know that it is totally normal and OK to not know how to ‘do’ grief correctly, there is no correct way to grieve or act, especially at those festive times when you may just have a reminder of the past wash over you. What you feel is right, allow the feelings, accept the feelings, work with them not against them and work through them. Allow them, feel them and find a way to step forward from them rather than stay in them. Just remember as long as everyone is safe and your grief is not damaging to you or others how you need to grieve is OK.

So although I can’t tell you how to grieve or what to do to make it easier I can offer a few ideas that might help:

  • Some pagan traditions encourage telling stories of the dead to friends and family, often around a festive fire (remember safety) – maybe nice for bonfire night.
  • Another pagan idea is to share your drink with loved ones by spilling some out onto the floor in their name (again probably best outside and not red wine on the white carpet)
  • Some people like to leave an empty seat/full place setting at the Christmas dinner table
  • Some people like to take a Christmas card to the grave or memorial stone of their loved one
  • Some like to plant a Christmas tree in their honour or make a charitable donation
  • Some like to buy a small low value gift to honour their dead.
  • An idea can be to collect stories, photos and memories about the deceased from all the family and create a memory book (or a memory stick in the digital age) to be shared among all contributors/friends/family and used as a talking point.

These are but a few small ideas to hopefully inspire you to realise that you can remember those not with us in a way that is right for you and your family.

If you’d like video, telephone or face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds at laura@wrightminds.co.uk or on 07598810304

5 Years as Wright Minds!

Well I thought it was worth a celebration blog. The 1st Oct marks 5 years of Wright Minds, from humble beginnings with only 1 client a week the business has grown to allow me to offer 20 counselling hours a week, with a reduced rate for those on low income, students, or retired. In that time I have undertaken over 2000 hours worth of counselling, I have been able to move offices to a larger office with nicer facilities for my clients, attended multiple professional development days, weathered the onslaught of COVID and I just want to thank you all for taking part in the journey so far, I hope one day I will be writing my 10th, 15th or 20th anniversary post and that you will be reading them.

In 5 years I have attained certificates as a Trauma therapist, an anxiety management diploma, a CBT diploma, a Mindfulness diploma, completed a depression focused therapy certificate, undertaken a course on ADHD and Autism within counselling, increased my awareness of obsessions in therapy, improved my understanding a LGBTQ therapy spaces, completed mandatory updates for adult and child safeguarding.

COVID was a challenge for many but I was able to increase my use of video counselling (for those wondering this was the topic of my dissertation 12 years ago) and ensure that clients still had access to safe and helpful support when they needed it, COVID changed many lives and now Wright Minds is working in the new post pandemic world with even more flexibility offering video, telephone or face to face therapy to suit the clients needs.

Thank you for your support and I’ll see you in next months blog post.