Couldn’t have said it better 4

This article is by Lauren Williamson. She writes about high functioning anxiety. This is often missed because everyone know about anxiety that stops us functioning, everyone understand mental health that they can see gets in the way of daily life for people, but this is for those who are anxious but function, they function so well sometimes they don’t even realise its anxiety that is driving them.

Have a read and see what you think. I know I’ve experienced many of these symptoms, what about you?

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

Could have said it better 3 – with art

This next couldn’t have said it better is with pictures. I really can’t say it any better than the artist. He makes a strong point about masculinity and ‘boys will be boys’. I found it thought provoking, have a read and see what you think. Thanks to Damian Alexander for his excellent post.

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

Couldn’t have said it better 2

This week I’d like to share an article entitled ‘Life Impacting Symptoms of Complex PTSD’ by Lilly Hope Lucario.

PTSD is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it has been more widely talked about in recent years and can be link to what was termed ‘shell shock’ during World Wars One and Two, the symptoms resulting from a traumatic event – not everyone finds the same thing traumatic or will expect to find an event traumatic but then do. 

However, in recent years this has been expanded to include complex PTSD, where the traumatic incident doesn’t just happen and end, but is ongoing and leaves the suffer constantly in a state of trauma.

Have a read of the article and see what you think.

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

Couldn’t have said it better

The next few blog posts will not be my own creation but sharing that of other. I’m not being lazy, but rather I like to showcase that other therapist and authors have valid views, or write inspiration articles and create talking points.

Therapists aren’t in this on their own, we work as a community, we support each other, we refer on to those who are more experienced in certain areas or specialisms when needed, for the client benefit. 

With this in mind the first post I want to share with you is about what therapist want you to know. The author, Kelly Quarles, seems to me to perfectly sum up what we as therapist would like you to know. A short and to the point read. I hope you enjoy.

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

Mindfulness

Mindful thinking, or being aware of the moment has been a regular topic recently. Trying to focus on the doing and not the outcome, taking pleasure in the moment. 

Here is a lovely article about Mindfulness and how to not think of it too narrowly but try to apply it to everyday life. See if it helps you find more joy in the moment.

Mental health composition with flat design

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

When you leave therapy

I am often asked by clients ‘how will I know when I am ready to leave therapy?’
My reply is ‘you will know, we will work together to find out.’

Businessman running to the exit door

Your therapy journey is unique to you and you will find your own path through to your own unique destination.

Once you find that your counsellor will work with you to find a way to leave therapy that is comfortable for you. Counsellors will often review with a client when they feel progress has been made, ask the client how they feel they are doing. Maybe discuss sessions becoming less frequent and seeing if you still feel better. Often therapists will review your initial goals with you and see how you feel progress has been made towards them or if they have now changed. Some therapist use a questionnaire to help you and them judge these changes.

People often ask ‘what if I get bad again?’
We can’t be sure we won’t feel like we need therapy again, like we’re slipping back into depression, anxiety, OCD, etc but usually we are aware of the feelings and warning signs much sooner because we’ve explored them and can now recognised them which we may not have been able to do before. This will answer your own question. 

After this you have the choice to return to therapy whenever you choose to, for a top up session, for a whole new reason, because an issue has returned or something has triggered you. You can return to your previous therapist of find a new one if you’d like to try a new approach.

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

Sleep Divorce

The concept is separate rooms, or at least separate beds.

LBC have recently debated this idea and Metro have discussed it.

This isn’t always a feasible solution but it just might be the right one for you.

Twin bed room and faceless people

Couples worry that it will lead to lack of intimacy or affection, that it will lead to the breakdown in the relationship, some people worry they will miss cuddles and it’s true, it’s not the solution for everyone. However, if you have ever spent the night waking up every time your partner turns over, lying awake convincing yourself smothering them for snoring isn’t the right plan, or that they stolen the covers for the 12th time that night, or that they’re star fished and you have been pushed to the floor, or they want to sleep hours before you but complain when you disturb them coming to bed.

Maybe a sleep divorce might just help you maintain a good relationship. It will mean a better nights sleep for you and your partner, it will mean less to be irked at them for, you will wake up and they won’t be the enemy.

Have a think about it.

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

Worries

So I have several metaphors for stress and anxiety and I thought I’d share the overall idea with you.

Imagine a glass and water. at the start of the day it has a small amount of water in it, its not heavy and it holds the water easily without spilling. By the time you get to lunchtime its starting to get about half full, by the end of work its almost completely full, it gets fuller and fuller on the journey home and when you get in. Eventually its hard to keep it from spilling out, its getting heavy and difficult to carry. Solution is easy – just tip out some water. Unfortunately its not that easy. When you see each worry that got added has combined with the others and you are not sure how to tip any out at all.

A glass of water macro shot

You can do the same with a bag of rocks, or marbles. Each conversation, each email, each piece of news, the commute, etc all add to the bag, along with some long term members such as bills and family etc. by the end of the day the bag is overflowing and heavy but you have no way to put it down or leave it.

How do you deal with this?

My way – I make a list of all of those things that have filled up my bag. I decide who’s worry they are – are they mine or do they belong to someone else? If they’re someone else’s then can I give them back? If its mine do I need to carry it around now? Can I put it down until I need it? eg that really important meeting next week – put it in the diary and plan time to plan it, then let it go, you can do no more to it right now.  Hopefully you should now have released several of your worries. We will always have a few that take time to put down, or share but we don’t need all of them. We don’t need to hold onto the stress of the person who cut us up on the way home etc.

If you’re left feeling overwhelmed still can you go for a run, a walk, a swim, a coffee with a friend, try some meditation to see if you can shake off any emotional weight collected over the day? 

These are the things I do. What works for you? 

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304

Being You – Easy Right?

You hear people talk about the importance of being yourself, being true to who you are, but how is that achieved? How do we even start to find out who we are?

Obviously I’m going to say therapy, because I’m a therapist? Not necessarily. We can find ourselves through introspection and self awareness, but I will admit these are often easier if we have someone to explore the ideas with. It doesn’t have to be a therapist it can be a trusted friend, or even a journal or blog. 

The trick? There isn’t one. Or at least not one I’ve found. Many people will offer advice, remember that’s just advice, take it – leave it – adapt it to yourself, only you know whats best for you.

See you just started. You just made your first ‘being yourself’ choice.

I found myself bit by bit; sometimes in small bits, sometimes in big bits and sometimes without noticing, often through making wrong choices or uncontrollable life events. I learnt to listen to me, not others, I felt my gut reaction, I felt the pleasure or sadness something brought. 

An example? I’m a nerd. I used to hide it, be ashamed of it, try to fit in.  Then I realised that it just made me feel unhappy. I got no pleasure age 21 of wearing uncomfortable clothes that revealed (what I felt to be) too much of me, of painting my face and dancing to music I didn’t like, while drinking cheap alco-pops that made me feel sick, I hated staying out late. I am not saying these are bad things, but they were bad things for me. So I did what I felt right? No because I had no idea what was right yet. I did over time, I found reading fun, I found board games, I found live role-play, I found counselling, I found university, I found computer games, I found sci-fi TV and films, I have watched every Star Trek episode, I learnt bit by bit, trial and error, what I liked and didn’t like. In the process I learnt I’m a nerd and I am proud of it.

Do you know what else? I found some of the most amazing friends. Because I was being me, they could get to know me, feel comfortable around me because my reactions were honest and didn’t change because they were real rather than fitting for the moment. This meant they could be themselves around me and I didn’t judge them. We grew to know one another. 

So Being You – its not easy, its not fast and I don’t think you ever stop learning but I find its worth it.

If you’d like some face to face counselling in the Stoke-on-Trent, Newcastle-under-Lyme or Staffordshire area please do contact Wright Minds on laura@wrightminds.co.uk or 07598810304